This is Scarlet’s story and everything that happened on her big day…

Scarlet Kimberly Carol Tkachuk

Wednesday, September 4th, 2019 was the big day. We waited a long nine months for you. All of the appointments, the traveling back and fourth to Toronto to make sure you were healthy and perfect, the coolest baby gender reveal we could have imagined, the biggest family fundraiser of love for you, and the endless support we’ve received from everyone so excited to see you.

I was so so nervous, and in complete denial that we were going to be your parents. I didn’t sleep all night, waiting the morning when your daddy and your grama woke up to bring us to the hospital to meet you. We packed everything the night before. We made sure we had absolutely everything for you and us. We got so many good luck messages and everyone was patiently waiting your arrival. Today was the big day.

When we got to the hospital we registered right away and then got sent to the family room to wait for a nurse to come get us. We waited for about 10 minutes and then a nurse called my name. My heart stopped, it’s happening, your almost here. Your daddy and I followed the nurse to triage to prep and get ready to meet you. Grama stayed behind for a bit to watch our bags and she would join us later.

We got into the room and I had to change into a gown and remove all my piercings. They asked me a million questions about when I was pregnant with your brother Liam and how it went. More nurses came in and it started to get overwhelming. They were all so, so nice to us. One of the nurses said she was going to listen to your heart with the doppler and we giggled and said good luck because you were always squished into a ball in my ribs and just wouldn’t cooperate.

She looked and looked and said that she was going to get the ultra sound machine because you just weren’t having it. Your daddy laughed and said to the nurse “she’s just like her mother, stubborn”, we all laughed about it, because it’s true.

The nurse came back with the ultra sound machine and she wasn’t saying much, we were watching the screen anxiously so we could see you. Our doctor came in the room and the nurse grabbed him and asked if she could help locate your heart. 

He looked for a little bit and blankly turned to us and gave us the news we never thought we would hear. Your heart had stopped. We don’t know why, and neither do the doctors. You shocked us all. We didn’t believe him. We couldn’t. We kept saying to check again, but it was too late.

We called your grama in so she could be with us. She never left your side either. We are all heartbroken and shattered. 
They moved us to a private room so that we could all be together and make decisions on what happens next.

We were in total shock in what to do. We can’t believe this, you were just moving the night before, lodged in my ribs. We called your grapa and your mémé and they couldn’t believe it. How could this be happening. We waited so long and did so much for you.

We were ready to have you, we called the doctors in so that they could explain how everything works now.

Everyone was so incredibly nice and supportive. Doctor after doctor came in and introduced themselves and gave their condolences. 

The nurse came in with the wheel chair to bring us to the operating room. Once we got there daddy and grama had to wait outside the room while they prepped me. The room was so cold—I think. I just kept shaking and shivering. My heart was racing a mile a minute. I was terrified. The nurses were amazing, and so so nice. I almost started to hyper ventilate but the nurse said just think of your most favourite place to be and I thought about being in your daddy’s arms and I calmed down right away.

It was time. They were ready to take you from your home of nine months. Your grama and daddy came in to sit side me. It didn’t take long for you to come out. Their was so much pressure and pulling.

Everything was going good though. And then your daddy said the dreadful line “she has my hairline”. We laughed because we joked the whole time that we hopped you’d end up with my hairline and not his—but it was perfect.

They finished sewing me up and moved me over to another bed to bring us back to our room. We would see you once we got back to the room. I had to cover my eyes on the way to the room because all the lights were so bright and the movement made me feel nauseous.

We were here. We were back in the room patiently awaiting you. They wrapped you up in a pink blanket and you had a nice pink knitted hat on. You were perfect. You are perfect. You look just like your daddy, except you have my lips. Scarlet red lips. Your so tiny and fragile, and so soft. You’ve got brown swirly hair, and the tiniest eyelashes and the McDonald chin.

We held you and hugged you and gazed over you for a while. You were so peaceful, just sleeping beauty. We all took turns holding you and awed at how perfect and beautiful you are. You were 5 lbs 10oz, but you felt so heavy. You were long, but tiny. You would have been tall like your daddy.

Nurses came in and took pictures of us. They got you a nice receiving blanket, a teddy bear, and a cute little beaded bracelet with your name on it. They took you back to your special room after a while so that we could get some rest after our big day.

Your daddy slept beside me on a cot all night, never leaving my side, making sure if I needed anything he would get it for me. Nurses came in every hour to check on us, making sure everything was good with my levels. I barely slept that night, but your daddy did—he really needed it after taking care of me so well and being so worried.

The next day nurses came in and out, doctors came and gave their condolences. Everyone is still so shocked about what happened. Nobody knows why this happened. We all keep asking the same question—why?

The day went on with medication, terrible hospital food, meetings from doctors and the many condolences. Your grama came by just after noon and brought a fun board game—Payday. I’ve never played but it was pretty fun!

The doctors came and told us we were allowed to leave tonight if I felt ready enough.

By 4pm we decided that I was well enough to leave the hospital. We wanted to see you one last time before we left. They brought you to us in nice new pink blankets, still with your knitted hat on. You still looked the same—beautiful and perfect.

We took a couple more photos with you and hugged you tighter. This is the last time we will get to ever see you, Scarlet. We had so many hopes and dreams for you. Who you would grow up to be and what you would do. Whatever it would have been, it would be great and we would be proud.

It was time to say goodbye, to let you out of our arms forever but in our hearts for eternity. I can’t believe we are leaving the hospital without you. The nurse came in to take you away back to your special room. We were told that there was another angel with you, so that you weren’t alone. That made us feel a bit better knowing you had someone beside you.

The nurse returned and took out my IV, gave us packages and wished us well and if we needed anything, to not hesitate at all. A wheelchair was brought to me so we could leave. We packed up all of our belongings and rolled down the hallway. We were leaving to go back to King City for a couple nights.

Your daddy went to go get the truck and grama and I waited for him outside. It was nice to breath fresh air, but man was I out of breath from you laying on my lungs for so long. My lungs weren’t used to all the air and expanding they were able to do now.

We all got into the truck and left. The ride home felt long because of all the bumps in the road and the pain it caused. But we made it back safe and sound. Back to where we stayed waiting for you.

Scarlet, you are so incredibly loved and will forever be remembered. I can only hope that you are with great grama Sullivan and your great pepere Lavallee.

We have a real, true angel now. You’ll forever be looking down on us and protecting us. We love you so much, and you taught us a lot, believe it or not. You made us stronger, and more resilient. You taught us to love harder and be more patient. We will never forget you, your forever in our thoughts and prayers.

Rest in paradise baby girl. 
Scarlet Kimberly Carol Tkachuk

Love forever, Mom and Dad.